COOL BARS

I like going to bars

I like bars that are cooler than my living room

And my living room fucking blows

So I have a pretty flexible definition of what a cool bar is

I'm like

"You mean they have flat screen TV's and beer?

Well then let's go

Why are we still in my living room, this place fuckin' blows"

Sometimes

If a bar has a big flat screen

I'll go there and hang out

Just to watch their TV

'Cuz I can't afford a flat screen TV

But I can afford four Manny's Pale Ales and a Long Island Ice Tea

And, of course, the irony of all this is that

If I just stopped going to that bar for like

A week and half

I could afford my own flat screen