WHITE MORPHEUS

I was at the grocery store the other day

And I saw one of those dudes that make you nervous

The guy in the leather trenchcoat

White Morpheus

Everytime I see white Morpheus I get nervous

I start looking for the exits

Planning my escape route

'Cuz these are the guys that are always shooting people

I mean, the DC sniper was black and the Virginia Tech guy was Asian

But for the most part, it's the weird white guy in the leather trenchcoat

I'm at the point now with these shootings

I think I'm gonna get a concealed weapon permit

Just in case I have to return fire, you know?

People getting shot at the movies

People gettin' shot at the Mall of American

Several years ago there was a shooting at the Mall of America

Someone who worked at Sears got killed

Isn't that bad enough?

You work at Sears and now you gotta dodge gunfire from white Morpheus?

Fuck that

That's why I say no matter what job you have

You should just call in sick as much as you can

'Cuz you just never know