PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE

I love passive aggressive people

That's why I moved to Seattle

I was intrigued

You mean there's a place where people can be dickheads to each other without being

called an asshole in return?

How much is a plane ticket?

I need to be there

So I can learn more

'Cuz I'm not very good at being passive aggressive

It sucks not being good at something that everyone does

I was in a bar a while back

And I didn't have my phone on me

And I didn't know what time it was

So I ask this guy

And he goes

"Yeah, I guess no one wears a watch anymore

It's 12:15"

And I was like that's it

That's what passive aggressiveness is right there

In some cities they're assholes

Like New York

Maybe if I was in New York they wouldn't give me the time

But in Seattle they'll give you the time

They'll just make you feel shitty about it for asking

The worst thing about passive aggressive people is that you can't call them on it,

right?

Like that's part of the rules of passive aggressive behavior

If you call someone out for being passive aggressive then you've lost

You've lost face

It's essentially how women behave

How women treat each other

And whenever a woman makes another woman lose her cool

She's automatically the winner

Your only move is to be passive aggressive back

But I can't

I can't do it

'Cuz part of being passive aggressive is that you have to hold a little bit in

And that's how you get cancer

By holding in that negative emotion

You have to get it out

You have to share the malignant parts of your personality with others.

That's what reality TV is all about

Imagine a world where everyone was Nigel Crane from Frasier

Fucking boring right?

That's why we need Mike the Situation to rescue us from the status quo