MY NEPHEW

My nephew's a trip

He's really skinny

He's anemic by choice

It's not genetics

It's his diet

All he eats is Twizzlers

I swear to God

And plays video games

That's all he does

I think he's training for a diabetic seizure

When his kidney's give out they'll just hook him up to a dialysis machine that plays 3D

movies

And he won't know the difference

Everytime I see him

I'll be visiting from outta town

They live down by Portland

And I'll swing by

"Hey Hunter"

He doesn't even look up from the TV

Just

"Hey bro"

His thumbs never stop moving

One day these kids'll discover that your thumb fits on top of a woman's button

And it's gonna be over

My nephew'll be 23 yrs old with 7 girlfriends and carpal tunnel